Masturbatory climax delayed by barrage of Instant Messages

Madison, Wis. – Local Internet porn enthusiast Charles Butler's self-induced orgasm was delayed nearly ten minutes when a sudden influx of Instant Messages interrupted his daily masturbating session, late Tuesday evening.

Butler, 28, says the untimely onslaught of Instant Messages began shortly after the self-employed bachelor had logged onto www.lesbian-house.com, a pornographic website that often serves as a catalyst for Butler's solo sexual activities.

"Here I was really getting off on this kick-ass all-lesbian website when three people started [Instant Messaging] me at the same time," complained Butler. "I was like, 'Great, now I've got to drop everything and IM them back.'"

Instant Messaging, often called "IMing," is an Internet feature that allows users to exchange typewritten messages in more of a 'real time' format than regular e-mail. A 'buddy list' application enables the user to 'see' when a friend logs on to the Internet; that friend can then be sent a short Instant Message, which appears as a pop-up window on the targeted user's computer monitor, atop whatever image is currently being viewed.

Butler claims that Tuesday evening's untimely barrage of Instant Messages resulted in a nearly ten-minute exchange with the three inquiring users, all faint acquaintances. By the time the obligatory IM sparring had run its course and the masturbatory endeavor finally rekindled, Butler admits that he was basically starting from scratch.

"Let's just say the soldier had dropped his salute, if you know what I mean," Butler joked of the delay's effect on his once-powerful erection.

Butler added that although often irritated by the implied obligation to respond to Instant Messaging, he does not blame Internet technology for the delay imposed on Tuesday's masturbatory apex.

"I always forget to log on under a secret screen name before I stroke it, so friends can't IM me," Butler reflected. "So [Tuesday's] whole incident was my own fault, really."