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Savard's earth-scarring napalm attack devastates a Green battalion.
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Homemade napalm attack ends inhumane sandbox war
Jacksonville, N.C.
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Casualties are still being counted following a devastating napalm strike that bombarded the frontlines of area youth Jesse Savard's sandbox earlier this week. The attack, mercilessly executed by Savard, 11, brought a swift conclusion to the war between the Green and Beige armies, which had raged for nearly 14 months.
The makeshift napalm, formulated from equal parts of gasoline and laundry detergent by Savard, fatally scathed an estimated 90 percent of Green's foot soldiers, landmine scouts and radio operators, reducing the wax-based soldiers to a liquid consistency and providing Beige with an insurmountable tactical advantage.
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A Green soldier is boiled alive by the scathing napalm.
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Puppeted by Savard, Beige ground troops quickly stormed their opponent's flaming base, executing surrendering soldiers and spitting upon the melted remains of their enemies before dancing in victorious celebration atop the scarred earth, as Green headquarters reluctantly accepted defeat.
"A great deal of wax has been shed here today," announced Savard, slightly shaking a deformed Green soldier in an effort to make the toy appear to deliver a surrender speech. "And while we consider the use of homemade napalm a war crime, we have no choice but to surrender to its devastating effects."
Green's 'war crime' allegation, however, was quickly countered by Beige.
"Our use of napalm was no more inhumane than Green's July fourth use of firecrackers, bottle rockets and smoke bombs, which savagely slew many of our men," retorted a Beige soldier being ventriloquisted by Savard.
Savard, though solely responsible for ending the war, faces a two-week grounding for incorporating biochemical weaponry into his after-school recreation.
May 2001
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