New chilidog offers 30 percent more digestion resistance

New chilidog offers 30 percent more digestion resistance

Toledo, Ohio-- The fast food business forged another milestone in human health decadence this week, as the inter-national Burgerman restaurant chain added the "Ultimate Chilidog" to its lunch menu. The chilidog features Burgerman's Secret Sauce, a condiment offering a 30 percent increase in resistance to the stomach acids that break down food to extract nutrients.

"The Ultimate Chilidog will sit in your stomach like an edible log for much longer than our competitors' least digestible lunch product," boasted Burgerman spokesman Clint Sanders.

When asked about taste and physical aesthetics of the chilidog, Sanders changed the subject to Burgerman's plan for a Danish that can't be chewed with anything short of gold teeth and a hydraulic jaw.

February 2001