Penniless bum smells surprisingly pleasant

Penniless bum smells surprisingly pleasant

Tampa, Fla. -- Homeless, jobless street bum Carl Jetkins exudes a surprisingly pleasant scent, say sources close to the aging panhandler. Though relying solely on commercial garbage dumpsters for both nourishment and attire, Jetkins is said to impress fellow bums and common citizens alike with his subtle but impressive fragrance, which is described as flowery, yet masculine.

When asked about his delightful aroma and other issues of personal hygiene, Jetkins managed only to slur something about Vietnam and aliens before cursing himself to sleep atop a soiled park bench.

February 2001