Above: John and Cynthia Goldman endure obligatory time together as they spend quality time with their children Lisa and Kevin.

Couple remaining together for children's sake reluctantly spans time

"The excitement of getting married and pregnant kept us in kind of a whirlwind for those first two years," John explained. "I guess one day we just woke up and looked at each other and, I don't know, the thrill was gone. I think we both started realizing that we had maybe rushed too quickly into the marriage and [having] the kids without getting to know each other well enough. Realizing we were basically stuck together for another sixteen years, well, 'resentment' isn't quite the right word for what we began feeling, but there was definitely some blame being assigned. We argued, some things got said that can't ever really be taken back. We've had separate beds ever since."

Their initial co-infatuation having long been depleted, the couple's relationship is forced to span time - amid on onslaught of personal differences and the harboring of deep loathes - in order to provide a stable home environment for their children's formative years.

"John is a great father, I'll say that," offered Cynthia, 34, alluding to her husband's heartfelt devotion to the couple's two children, daughter Lisa Marie, 12, and son Kevin Bradley, 11. "But as a husband, I don't know, I guess John and I just have too many differences."

These differences, Cynthia noted, include opposing viewpoints on subjects such as religious beliefs, political stances, career moves, environmental concerns, investment options, cinematic tastes, name-brand consumer loyalties, dietary provisions, social etiquette protocols, home décor alterations, sports franchise allegiances, privacy rights, slang usage, fashion choices and other issues.

Meeting at a University of Florida "One Month To Go!" pre-graduation party in 1988, John and Cynthia are said to have been smitten from first sight. Married only a week later, the momentum of the couple's passion quickly led to the birth of their two children, and eventually burned out sometime around the two-year anniversary of the couple's spontaneous wedding.

"Well, I knew they were both wanting to have careers and kids, and I think at the time they had something else in common, but I don't remember what," recalled Bonnie Tinsil, who introduced Cynthia to John at the U of F party. "I remember being glad they fell for each other, but I didn't expect they were going to bolt right into marriage and kids. Personally, I didn't think either of them was mature enough to know who they were or what they wanted out of life. I guess I was wrong though since they're still together."

Indeed, the Goldmans' commitment to their children makes it appear to others as if their relationship parallels the destiny-laced unition of romance novel characters.

"They seem to have a very fulfilling home life," said Livingston resident Tom Walters, who's been a neighbor to the Goldmans since 1992. "It seems like [the Goldmans] are always outside playing with the kids or throwing the kids birthday parties or taking their kids to the movies or something. I don't think I've ever seen John and Cynthia get a sitter and just spend time alone together. I guess they're just so committed to their children that they refuse to do anything without including them. It's touching."

Both John and Cynthia agree that reluctantly staying together for the sake of their children presents a steep emotional challenge. Though careful to behave civilly toward one another when in their children's presence, the couple's awkward moments alone typically result in unpleasant and demeaning verbal exchanges. This 'turn it on, turn it off' social façade often leaves both John and Cynthia feeling slightly schizophrenic.

"Oh yeah, it's tough for me to be calling Cynthia a 'vicious slut' one second and then have to refer to her as 'mommy' when the kids walk into the room," John explained.

Cynthia echoed similar sentiments: "I'll be totally going off on John about how and why I think he's a closet fag and how I'd sooner suffer stigmata than have him stick me with his sorry pecker, and then Kevin will walk up and I have to act like, 'I love daddy.' [It] makes me sick."

John and Cynthia emphasized that each look forward to 2008, when Lisa and Kevin will blossom into adulthood, morally freeing the couple to divorce and pursue sexual relations their with respective affair partners.

October 2001