Nine-year-old Tamra Wilcox (pictured above) prefers the chewable contraceptive tablets to conventional "swallow pills." Inset: Ortho-Novum 1/12: an innovation in preteen oral contraceptives.

New chewable birth control pill aims to combat preteen pregnancy

Designed to target the ever growing demographic of "at risk" preteen females, the edible Ortho-Novum 1/12 tablet boasts an easier ingestion process than its orally administered predecessors.

"Mommy was always trying to get me to take these swallow pills," said Tamra Wilcox, the blossoming nine-year-old daughter of Pensicola, Flor., pro-choicers Daniel and Rita Wilcox. "This new pill I eat with my Flintstones; it's fun and tastes good and mommy says it will keep me from growing up too fast."

Ortho-McNeil CEO Blaine Monroe says the new chewable tablet form - presented in shapes of bears and other adorable wildlife animals - was simply a necessary evolution for a company that has for many years been monitoring the gradual drop in the median age of sexually active youths - a number which studies show is quickly approaching the single-digit mark.

"Obviously, our company has survived because of its ability to fill a demand, and the ability to adapt as that demand changes," said Monroe of Ortho-McNeil's history. "Today, the American parent's demand is for a fun-to-take chewable that inhibits the ability of their precious darlings' eggs to travel through the fallopian tubes, alters their cutie pie's cervical mucus to block sperm, and partially inhibits implantation in daddy's little angel's uterine wall."

Pop sensation Britney Spears negatively influences preteen fans' moral standards at an Ortho-Novum 1/12-sponsored concert in Houston.

Ortho-Novum 1/12's $50 million promotional campaign is a clear indication of Ortho-McNeil's firm belief in the magnitude of the chewable contraceptive's targeted demographic. Having already negotiated an exclusive three-year promotional contract with teen pop sensation Britney Spears, Ortho-Novum appears poised to stake claim as the industry standard in the sexual liberation of today's preteen female.

"We targeted Spears not only because of her image's weighty role in creating our target market, but because she can also help us sell to that market," Monroe said of Ortho-McNeil's promotional campaign. "As Spears continues to negatively influence the moral standards of our nation, the average age of our sexually active youth is expected to drop to a point where a chewable oral contraceptive will become a necessity for genuinely concerned parents."

By fall, parents can expect to find Ortho-Novum 1/12 in the new pharmacy departments of Toys-R-Us and Kay-Bee Toy retailers.

July 2001