B-list celebrity David Faustino, who played Bud Bundy on the television sitcom Married With Children.

B-list celebrity wishes he couldn't go out in public without causing a scene

"Why is it that George Clooney or Britney Spears can't walk down the street without getting mobbed, but I can't get even a single autograph request after hanging out at the Viper Room for three hours?" pondered a frustrated Faustino while driving home from the Hollywood nightclub with friend Keith Dutland Saturday night. "I was on TV every week for ten years, for Christ's sake, not to mention the syndication. I have every bit as much right to not having any privacy as those clowns do."

Dutland, a close friend to Faustino since grade school, said the child star often complains about the complete lack of paparazzi trailing him when he goes out in public.

"David isn't the kind of man who likes being able to keep his personal life private," said Dutland. "He feels that just because he's a slightly famous actor that the public should be allowed to know every intimate detail of his life, whether it's who he's dating, where he goes shopping or what he eats for breakfast."

Dutland said that the 31-year-old Faustino - who co-wrote one episode of Married With Children, managed a Hollywood nightclub called Balistyx and recorded a rap song under the alias D Lil' - goes to great lengths to make his personal affairs known to the world despite the media's complete lack of interest.

"I'm pretty sure David's the only celebrity that's ever gotten into trouble for punching out a photographer for not taking unauthorized pictures of him," said Dutland, recalling Faustino's little-publicized legal trouble. "When I went and bailed him out I couldn't tell which he was madder about: the photographer not sticking a camera in his face or the cops not recognizing who he was when they arrested him."

According to Dutland, the B-list celebrity has also spent thousands of dollars trying to attract would-be privacy invaders.

"David recently put in a whole row of bushes in front of his house just so photographers or fans would have a good spot to hide and wait for him to come out of his house, but so far I don't think anyone's taken the bait," said Dutland. "He also bribed the guy that prints those 'Maps to the Hollywood Stars' brochures in order to get his address listed in it, even though he actually lives in Los Angeles. I don't know if that's gotten people to drive by his house in awe or anything, but I do know that somebody lit his mailbox on fire during the night shortly thereafter. Of course, that could have just been a coincidence."

Dutland worried that his friend's tremendous desire to drop into the spotlight could cause Faustino to make drastic decisions he might later regret.

"David's so bent on not being able to just go out and enjoy a movie like a normal person that he's starting to pull outlandish stunts in order to try to get some press," said Dutland. "Like last month David checked himself into rehab, even though he hardly ever even drinks. He was pretty upset when the media didn't pick up that story. Lately, though, he's been talking a lot about how Robert Blake was a complete nobody until he had his wife killed. Considering that David just got married, that, to me, is a little worrisome."

August 2004