 Close Encounters of the Dick Bill Kind
A classified FBI file recently obtained by Recoil appears to verify what suspected alien life form and cultural icon Dick Bill has claimed for nearly a decade: that he was in fact abducted by an alien spacecraft...
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 Doctor Dick
As one of only a handful of people currently residing in the continental United States that are required by law to carry "high-risk" medical insurance, Dick Bill is forced to appease nervous insurance adjusters by enduring extensive medical examinations every six months.
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 Mixing with Dick - Part I.
Music Industry veteran Dick Bill has mixed audio for every kind of event from puppet shows to the Hindenburg explosion. He is currently under exclusive contract to mix the Broadway production of Deep Throat, the Musical.
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 Mixing with Dick - Part II.
It's no coincidence that "db" stands for both decibel and Dick Bill - as a legendary road veteran that's been tweaking his knobs since he was old enough to mix a drink, Dick Bill practically invented monitor feedback.
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 Booking Dick
In an attempt to relieve the high volume of telephone and e-mail queries flooding the Recoil office, management has ordered that the space typically allotted for Eye On Dick is to this month be used to publish all pertinent information regarding the booking of cultural icon Dick Bill for public appearances.
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 Major Dick
A key strategy of Recoil's "Dick Bill in 2004" write-in presidential election campaign involves drawing voters' attention to Dick's brief but well-documented military service duty - an undeniable reflection of his dedication to his country, fellow man and personal discipline.
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 Moving Dick
It is with heavy heart we report that the Heritage Hills house in which Recoil was conceived and launched (and against which the magazine was leveraged) will this summer either be sold or burned to the ground for insurance money (whichever seems appropriate after 30 days on the market).
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 Nursing a sick Dick
Dr. Dick Bill, M.D., received his honorary doctorate from Georgetown University for his work defining the durability limitations of the human body.
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 Dick Billing
Dick Bill’s disciplined approach to personal finance effectively liberates him from the grim, day-before-paycheck ‘Food or beer?’ decisions that plague most youthful bachelors.
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 Father Dick
The sternly condemning media orgy currently shadowing the Catholic Church has caused severe drop-offs in both average mass attendance and congregation revenues.
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 Dick the Candidate
A year into his controlled swerve toward Washington, Dick has reluctantly agreed to publicly air his positions on today's hot political issues.
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President Dick Bill
Recoil is proud at announce its endorsement of Senator Dick Bill, who will indeed run for the U.S. Presidency again in 2004, building on the momentum established during his wildly successful write-in vote campaign of 2000.
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 The Thirty-Minute Dick Workout
Professional bodybuilder Dick Bill strongly advocates the use of steroids for maintaining a freakishly large build. His new workout video, "Getting Drunk And Knocking Shit Over With Dick," is available at...
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 Getting Dick in bed
Licensed sleep therapist Dick Bill's experiments with sleep deprivation are documented in the international bestseller "What Day Is It?" - available at quality bookstore everywhere.
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 Saint Dick
Posing by day as a mild-mannered, straight-laced taxpayer, resident superhero Dick Bill has for years dutifully applied his innate superhuman powers to thwart governmental corruption and liberate clubgoers from various mental shackles.
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 Great Dicks of History
Recoil's extensive investigation of Dick Bill's family tree has unearthed startling evidence linking Dick to some of the most famous and charismatic figures in history. Listed below are just a few of Dick's confirmed blood relatives and their noteworthy achievements.
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 Wheel of Dick
Three major television networks have recently approached cultural icon Dick Bill about developing and hosting a primetime game show based on his abnormal yet widely admired lifestyle.
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 Native Dick
A living, breathing result of some insane genius' twisted breeding experiment, human hybrid Dick Bill only recently began tracing his heritage after becoming aware of the rewards privy to descendents of certain casino-operating Native American tribes.
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 Winterizing Dick
Honorary Eskimo Dick Bill has won the Alaskan Iditarod three times, lived homeless on the streets of Quebec, and twice been declared legally dead because of his heart's erratic and often non-existent beat.
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 Morning Dick
Nocturnal predator and cultural icon Dick Bill's impressive list of genetic mutations includes a stainless steel liver, high-definition night vision and the ability to convert a wide array of liquids into life-sustaining oxygen.
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 Super Dick
Posing by day as a mild-mannered, straight-laced taxpayer, resident superhero Dick Bill has for years dutifully applied his innate superhuman powers to thwart governmental corruption and liberate clubgoers from various mental shackles.
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 Dick Swallows
Well known for his rare ability and bizarre willingness to treat even the most unfriendly of materials as food, iron stomach-born Dick Bill ignores nutritional value, taste and general logic when appeasing his undiscerning yet aggressive palate.
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Eye on Dick
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