Look at how much I don't care what you think

Look at how much I don't care what you think

Hey, you! Yes, you - the uptight suburbanite wearing the Old Navy Sweatshirt, with the immaculately landscaped lawn, two-point-three children and freshly leased 2003 SUV - what do you think of my mohawk? Shocking, isn't it? Unnerving, isn't it? You hate it don't you?

Not that I care. Frankly, it doesn't matter one way or the other to me what a pompous, politically correct, super-conservative consumer pig such as you thinks of my fashion anti-statement. In fact, the whole reason I shaved this weird stripe down the center of my head is to show all of the people like you that I don't care what anybody thinks.

What do you think about that, huh?

By Ian Davis

It's like, what you see as an inappropriate or maybe even offensive personal grooming preference, I see as just another physical expression of my rebellious personality. In contrast to your straight-laced suburban sensibilities, you see my mohawk as a social atrocity. I, however, see it as a statement.

Speaking of seeing, have you noticed that my nose is double-pierced? Hang on a sec - let me step into some better light. There, check it out. Pretty sweet, huh? Double nose rings: how's that for not caring what anybody thinks?

Seriously, how is that?

Hey, are you even paying attention? I'm not going out and temporarily defacing my body for my health, you know. This mohawk - which tomorrow I'm going to dye pink just to further represent moral chaos, insubordination and everything else you hate about today's ungrateful youth - isn't going to just grow back in a couple of days, you know; I'm committed to instilling social discomfort among you prissy lemmings for weeks.

Well, unless I put a hat on, of course.

Can I ask your personal opinion on something? Do you think I'm getting my point across, that I don't care what anybody else thinks? Does this mohawk tromp enough on the stiff family and social values dominating middle America to make me seem a prolific deviant?

I sure hope so. Because if this borderline-obscene haircut doesn't do it, I can only wonder how far I'll have to go to prove that I don't care what anybody thinks. It's like, what level of non-conformity do I have to reach in order to be recognized as part of the freak crowd? Just tell me what it is - I'll do it!

I suppose I could get my genitals pierced, but how would that let everybody that I run into know that I don't care what they think? They wouldn't even be able to see it.

No, I'm pretty sure this mohawk, the nose rings and my devil-may-care attitude pretty much do the job in signaling my separation from the norm. Maybe I'll get a tattoo or something like everybody else to further display my individuality and show the world that I don't care what anybody thinks.

Do you think that's a good idea?