Our band should do a really cool cover song

Our band should do a really cool cover song

Alright, guys, you know we've got this show coming up at the Static Club next Wednesday, and you know how our set of originals is a little short and all? I had a brilliant idea of what we should do for this show: a really cool cover song. That would be sweet-ass tight.

Seriously, no local bands around here do really bad-ass cover tunes. They always pick the gayest songs, and then they hardly even mess with them; they just play the original arrangements and maybe slow down the tempo. That's so lame! We should do like what Rage Against the Machine did with Renegades - you know, how like the bass player didn't even listen to the original songs. That's how we'll make whatever cover song we pick our own.

By Eddie Regnier,
Drummer,
E For Everyone

The first thing we need to do is pick an artist to cover. We need to pick like an American classic rock band or British punk band or something, and totally redo one of their less popular songs, E For Everyone style. Not an obvious tune like "Another Brick In the Wall, Part II," but some really obscure song that people will barely recognize when we're through rearranging it. Don't get me wrong; I'm not saying I'm against doing a Floyd cover - I love Floyd - but we should pick a really old Pixies songs or maybe one by The Jesus Lizard or even Jane's Addiction.

Or you know what might be kind of fun is to pick a ska punk song by Squirrel Nut Zippers or Mustard Plug or somebody. That would be cool because we wouldn't have the horns and we'd have to invent a new way of recreating those parts with guitars or Gary's synth. Damn, that's genius. We would definitely be challenging ourselves, pushing our musicianship to a new level. But I don't know if we've got time to tackle an innovative task like that with only a little more than a week to go before our show. Gary has to work almost every night this week and the only days we're going to be able to rehearse are Saturday and Sunday. So we'd better stick with something a little more straightforward for right now.

Just to make sure you're clear on what I was saying about Floyd, if you guys want to do a tune off of Animals or Ummugamma, I'm totally down; I just don't want to end up doing "Time" or "Comfortably Numb" or another one that's been covered to death by a billion bands. In fact, if it has to be something off of The Wall, my vote's for "The Trial." We could totally rock that one out. And that's all I'm going to say about that.

Here's a staggering concept: what about maybe redoing an 80s pop song? God, there are a ton I'd kill to do, like "Whip It" by Devo or "99 Luftballoons" by that German broad. We could break out some percussion shit and break it down into a big jam during the bridge section. Or what about "Shout" by Tears for Fears. Oh wait, Disturbed already covered that one. Shit. Well, hell, I'm up for just about any hit from the 80s, so just count me in if somebody comes up with a good one to do.

Man, it's hard to pick just one. We might have to make this cover thing a habit just to get in all the songs we want to do. Do you think maybe this is how cover bands get started down that long, tired road of Holiday Inns and redneck bars? Never me, man. Never me.

Wait, I've got it! A fucking Krokus song. Oh my God, that's such a great idea I can't believe I didn't think of it before. Fucking Krokus, dude. That would be so gay it would be cool, you know what I'm saying? I think my brother's got the first Krokus record on vinyl; I'll check it out tonight and see if there's a really bad song on it that's just begging to be covered.

Oh, come on guys! Picking something weird is half the point. Alright, fine; well, my final vote's for either Krokus or "The Trial." Look, Gary's got to leave in five minutes to get to work, so we need to make a decision here.

Okay, then, good. "Eat the Rich" by Krokus it is.

Does anybody have the tablature for that one? No? I'll be damned if I'm going to learn it by ear.